tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65077476553118375992024-03-21T01:11:53.247-07:00Klarabelle Candy~ Miscellaneous Thoughts, Articles, and Stories from the Heart of a Teenage Girl......
Yep. That's pretty much it. So why should you follow this blog? Well...amidst the randomness of my cogitations, verbalizations, and contemplations, every 100 or so blog posts you might find something epic. :) Or maybe not...it's your decision!Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger163125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507747655311837599.post-11863561628030272692015-12-08T11:11:00.001-08:002015-12-08T11:11:43.761-08:00a farewell and a greeting <center style="text-align: justify;">
Almost four and a half years ago on August 31, 2011, after much encouragement from two friends of mine, I became a blogger. I didn't really have any idea what I was doing, but I described my spot on the blogosphere as, "Klarabelle Candy - miscellaneous thoughts, articles, and stories from the heart of a teenage girl." When I wrote out the definition of the word "epic" as my first blog post, I had no idea that blogging would become a significant part of my life, that my blog could look way cooler than a free template, or that I would have more than ten followers. I would never have imagined that my "miscellaneous journalings" and "not-so-collected thoughts" would be read by so many young ladies, or that I would fall in love with the blogging community. In June 2012, "Klarabelle Candy" received a makeover and in July 2012, my friends help me host my first "26 Follower Giveaway".</center>
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In the summer of 2014 quite a few changes occurred in my life and I took a bit of a break from blogging. Early in 2015, however, I realized that I didn't want to give up my online writing. I came back with a clearer direction of where I wanted the blog to go (Lordwilling). I decided to be purposeful and genuine in my writing - less posts ranting about mustaches and no more façades of "having it all together". Instead of being my outlet for complaints, ideas, and opinions, I wanted my blog to be a place where I could bluntly share my personal thoughts and struggles. </center>
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In accordance with this change, I have decided that it is time to start over with a new blog. </center>
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So in a sense, this is goodbye. I will leave "Klarabelle Candy" on the web for a while, but this will be my final post. This blog and its followers have been with me through the ups and downs of the past for four years, and I am sad that it has come to an end.</center>
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But in a sense, this is hello. I'd like to invite you to check out my new blog, "<a href="http://slumberingstrings.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">Broken Strings & Slumbering Chords</a>", a twenty-something's reflections on life, following God, living with depression, and falling in love. </center>
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Thank you so much to the two young ladies who helped me begin my blogging journey. Thank you to Emma for replacing my clique template with a unique look you made just for me and to Morning for redesigning this blog more recently. Thank you to those who have placed my button on their sidebars and reposted my writings. And lastly, thank you to all who have been faithful to read my posts and support me through your comments and kinds words... you are the reason I have continued on. I hope you'll come visit me at my new blog and stay for a while! </center>
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2011</center>
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Hi! I'm Kara (though I respond to "Klara" and "Klarabelle" and various other names). Thanks for stopping by my blog... I love "meeting" blog people, reading comments, and hearing your thoughts! A little bit about me... well, some of my interests include writing: (mostly novels, but other types of writing too), reading, drawing, shopping, crafts, fairies, hearts, Narnia, blogging (you couldn't guess, could you!?), and the French Revolution, not to mention musicals, singing, <i>Lord of the Rings</i>, purple or turquoise things, castles, rodents, and 1800's stuff. Most importantly though, I am a Christian who loves her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Without Him, I am nothing! </div>
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2015</center>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 11.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Hey, I’m “Klarabelle”! I
have enjoyed creative writing for as long as I can remember and found myself
falling down the figurative rabbit hole of blogging in 2011 (I’ve only looked
back once). When I'm not working or fiddling with my cellular communication device, I enjoy writing
old-fashioned letters to my incredible boyfriend, attempting to have deep
conversations, doodling on lined paper (because drawing paper is too far away),
and overanalyzing the sporadic movements of my betta fish, Natsu. Most
importantly, though, I’m a Christian who loves her Lord and Savior, Jesus
Christ – without Him, I am nothing! He has saved me from my sin, called me out
of darkness, and brought me "into His marvelous light" (1 Peter 2:9,
NKJV). I desire to serve Him in everything I do and to love Him more and more
each day.</span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507747655311837599.post-90802664832410253052015-09-08T20:53:00.000-07:002015-09-08T20:55:15.940-07:00friends first <center style="text-align: justify;">
Several weeks ago, one of my close friends invited me to an end of summer party. There were to be games, s'mores, a campfire, and lots of fun! So after work, J and I headed off to the party, cookies in tow. Once we arrived, I enjoyed catching up with some of my high school peers and officially introducing my boyfriend. After a few hours of hanging out, I was reminiscing freshman year with one of my friends when she asked us a question. "Do you have any advice for two people who are interested in dating?" </center>
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The question surprised me, so naturally I laughed and said, "If he offers you gum, take it. And if you get the opportunity to shove whipped cream in his face, do it." (That's how J and I met...don't ask). But J's answer surprised me. He said, "Be friends first."</center>
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He is right. So many potentially beautiful friendships are ruined by infatuation, emotion, and a desire to be close to someone. The teenage and young adult years are filled with many changes - emotional changes, life changes, and growth in character. It's the sometimes difficult transformation from a child to adult. Often, what a young person needs in the midst of all this is not a relationship. What they really need is a good friend - not just someone take them to the movies or the mall, but someone who will be there even when it's not easy. Someone who will listen to them and help them. A person whom they trust and who trusts them in return. A like-minded Christian who will hold them accountable and encourage them to grow in their relationship with the Lord.</center>
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Ladies, if you surround yourself with godly companions, perhaps one of the young men who have walked with you through the difficult years of change will become your "someone special" - but even if he does not, you will still have a trustworthy close friend. You don't need to date a bunch of young men to find out what kind of guy you like; you don't need to be in multiple relationships to find out how to be a good girlfriend. If you are following the Lord, He will direct you towards someone who also loves Him. If you are a good friend, then you'll already know how to be a good girlfriend.</center>
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J and I had been friends for four years when we began our courtship. In our first year together, I learned that we still had a lot of growing up to do. But I honestly think we would not be as strong as we are if we had not been simply friends first. Of course there was an attraction, there had been for a long time. But because we became close friends first and didn't hurry into a relationship, we were able to stand by each other, encourage each other, and learn to trust each other. Yes, maybe there is something to be said for assuring nosy friends and relatives that you and the person you like are "just friends", because perhaps that is how it should begin. </center>
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Last December, J was home for Christmas break. It was Tuesday, so we decided to go to $5 movie night after my shift at work. We chose to see <i>Into the Woods</i>, a musical mashup of popular fairytales that retains canonical references (like eye-pecking birds and drastic foot-altering) to the Brothers Grimm. We'd seen the show as a high school play once before, and I knew that it contained some questionable content and lyrics, but I'd seen photo stills online and simply fallen in love with the gorgeous costuming. We surprised ourselves by enjoying the movie - we laughed out loud at <i>Agony </i>- and loving the music. </center>
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Later, I wasn't surprised to see many Christian bloggers bashing the movie for its worldly themes - I had found myself cringing at the finale song, <i>No One Is Alone</i>, which takes place when Little Red Riding Hood questions the morals of killing a giant, since her now-deceased mother taught her murder was wrong (and in response, Cinderella offers some very <i>interesting</i> advice). Even so, it was no surprise that the song promoted self-decided morality - without God as a moral compass, we can only look to our conscience for right and wrong. But the questionable ending song also caught my attention for another reason. To comfort Red, Cinderella, sings "Mother cannot guide you / now you're on your own" and the lyrics later include the lines:</center>
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<i>Mother isn't here now</i></center>
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<i>Nothing's quite so clear now...</i></center>
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<i>Feel you've lost your way</i></center>
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<i>You decide, but you are not alone</i></center>
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<i>Believe me, no one is alone</i></center>
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"Mother cannot guide you, now you're on your own," and, "Mother isn't here now, who knows what she'd say?" Someday, if it is God's will for me to have a family, I want my children to know what I would say to them after my passing. When faced with a decision, I don't want them to be like Little Red, feeling lost and confused. I don't want them to have to guess my hypothetical thoughts and opinions. When faced with a moral dilemma, I want them to know exactly what I would tell them. Not because I've left them a book entitled, "What to Do When a Giant Attacks Your Home" or an instruction manual titled, "What to Do In Every Situation (As Told By Your Mother)". It's because I've taught them to turn to the only book that can truly give us guidance. It's because I've encouraged them to have a relationship with One who is fully good and loving and because I've turned them towards the One who will make their decisions clear to them. The only One who will truly never leave them alone. The One who will help them find their way (His way). The One who has left us the best instruction manual ever - His Word and His Holy Spirit to help us understand. </center>
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To my someday children - I pray that when faced with tough decisions, you will turn to God and His Word. That you will be able to enjoy a work of art, but realize its moral fallacies. That you will never truly feel alone, because although I may leave you, though your friends may you, though your loved ones may leave you, there is One who will never leave you alone. Though there may come a day when you will say, "Mother isn't here now", that you will know exactly what I would say. </center>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507747655311837599.post-13081770390052460402015-08-25T21:00:00.000-07:002015-08-25T21:00:59.329-07:00wandering lost"Not all those who wander are lost."<br />
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I love <i>Lord of the Rings</i>. I've read the books, I quote the movies, I collect Tolkien-related merchandise... one of my favorite quotes is the one listed above. At first, I loved the quote just because it was Tolkien. But then I realized how much it made me think of myself, and through my senior of high school, it was basically my theme.<br />
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Nearly a year ago, I wrote this rather blunt post - <a href="http://klarabellecandy.blogspot.com/2014/04/follow-your-dreams-unless-we-dont.html" target="_blank">Follow Your Dreams (Unless We Don't Approve of Them)</a> - about how I didn't feel called to go to college, but how I did have lots of post-graduation plans. I wrote, "Sometimes I think people are worried I'll become some sort of couch potato bum. But I'm pretty sure my parents won't let that happen to me. I hope to learn more about housekeeping and cooking; I hope to work on my latest novel; I hope to have time to disciple some of the younger ladies in my life; I hope to continue playing music on the praise team at my church, and much more. I won't be bored. So why worry about me?" I sounded so convincing, but as I wrote the post, I still felt lost. I had lots of plans and ideas, but I was still a bit apprehensive.<br />
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<i>Not all those who wander are lost.</i><br />
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Hardly any of the things I wanted to do after graduation actually happened. Life kind of got in the way. I got a job, which has been challenging at times, but has also been a great financial blessing. And then of course I spend a lot of time talking to my person and investing in our relationship. :) But sometimes I still feel a bit lost.<br />
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According to Tolkien, sometimes it's okay to wander. Sometimes we have to try things, to experiment, to go on an adventure. We're haven't lost our way, we're simply exploring.<br />
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Lately I feel as if I've been wandering lost. I know I need to step out and adventure, but I'm scared to. So instead I stay close to what I know, repeating the same mundane tasks, and wondering why I feel like I'm doing nothing.<br />
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Maybe it's time to explore a bit. Maybe it's time to wander more purposefully. My anchors are, of course, my faith in God, my family, and my best friend. My anchors will keep my safe and call me home. But maybe it's time to step out in faith a bit and see what God wants me to do for Him.<br />
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"Klarabelle"Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507747655311837599.post-51877915946006162842015-08-18T22:34:00.001-07:002015-08-18T22:35:15.663-07:00BFF = BF<center style="text-align: justify;">
The other day I was scrolling through old files on my computer and I came across a forgotten document titled, "Best Friends Are Like Boyfriends." My boyfriend was in the room, so I started feeling really embarrassed...but also really curious. So after he left, I opened the document. It said...</center>
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Best friends...</center>
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Are like boyfriends. </center>
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You want to talk to them all the time</center>
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You see them everyday, and you still don't see them enough </center>
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You can't wait to see them</center>
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You e-mail them all the time</center>
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You think about them constantly</center>
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Something funny happens and you think, "I can't wait to tell them that!"</center>
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You have a bad day, and you tell them about it before you tell anyone else</center>
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If you get into a fight, you can't stop thinking about it until you make up</center>
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And if you ever lose one...</center>
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It breaks your heart.</center>
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I wrote this in February of 2010 - nearly six years ago - as a very angsty and sensitive preteen. But now, as a more mature, but still emotional, young adult, I can say...for the most part it's true.</center>
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It isn't always happiness and sunshine, because my boyfriend and I are two sinful people with our problems and sometimes selfish desires. We have never been in a relationship with anyone else before, so we are still learning a lot, like how to communicate and be open with each other. We are still discovering how to love each other while at the same time loving God even more. We are learning how to put the other person first. </center>
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But I do love talking to him. I love listening to his thoughts and dreams. We spend hours together, but I still wouldn't mind more. Knowing that I get to see him makes the crummiest day worthwhile. Though we don't e-mail (it isn't 2010 anymore), we text frequently. He pops into my mind whether he is invited or not, because when someone is part of your life, they never really leave your thoughts. Whenever something amusing happens at work, I'll plan the most dramatic and funny way to tell him about it later. And when I'm upset, he's the first person I want to talk to. Though we haven't had a true fight, the small disagreements we've shared have been resolved quickly. And I pray that I will never have to lose him because he is truly my best friend, and I don't know what I'd do without him.</center>
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Yes, best friends are like boyfriends. Though the junior high student typing onto a computer document knew only an ideal, romanticized version of love, she was right in the end. Best friends are like boyfriends, because if you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, that someone will become your best friend. Not only that, but they will become your confidant, advisor, companion, love, comforter, sidekick, partner in crime, your leader or helpmeet...the person who knows more about you than anyone else on the planet. The person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Your best friend. </center>
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// <i>We'll always make it through / As long as you've got me and I've go you / We will take the world in our stride / Anything can be possible by your side // The Way You Are, David Choi</i></center>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507747655311837599.post-51610710157104659302015-08-11T22:38:00.000-07:002015-08-18T22:41:34.926-07:00enough<center style="text-align: justify;">
This is a follow-up to my post, "Content to be Little".</center>
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The other day while washing dishes at work I came to an interesting realization: that all I have right now is <i>enough</i>. That having an all-powerful God who loves enough to die for me is all that I could ever need; He is my greatest reward, He is all-sufficient, and before all else He must truly be my all in all.</center>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_zIQtgfZYswVX_oPr0hA2llDRsvY8PIFj7mSusyiRKBBQQoyGepSzWGps6Qvureg6qtMXa0dAXD2AtsAa1_RFYcHYUGXnIvcYWmykV1z6tj8z12oNr7_UQFarK8uZeqnbeOK_Of2jYTY/s1600/Screenshot_2015-01-17-10-33-13%257E2bnw.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_zIQtgfZYswVX_oPr0hA2llDRsvY8PIFj7mSusyiRKBBQQoyGepSzWGps6Qvureg6qtMXa0dAXD2AtsAa1_RFYcHYUGXnIvcYWmykV1z6tj8z12oNr7_UQFarK8uZeqnbeOK_Of2jYTY/s320/Screenshot_2015-01-17-10-33-13%257E2bnw.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">December 2014</td></tr>
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That having a man who loves me is <i>enough</i>, even if he can't marry me right away and even if we are separated by months and miles. The fact that he is loving, supportive, thoughtful, godly, respectable, a strong leader, a good listener, and a hard worker is <i>enough</i>.</center>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">January 2012</td></tr>
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That having a body covered in medical-related scars is <i>enough</i>. That there is always someone who is better off than you, but there is also someone who is worse off than you. The point isn't to compare with others, but to find joy no matter the circumstance.</center>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwifH6ygxIv38VXWGk4VcDquTYED3NVbO7-MByPRcixNORuCok_0g1H7L3rsWxOW6BcUvzU6yrtsy42SUia0ky02igfe13CnxRguFFte8Vm-ymAwPHrnMyFQlVThxpEoZDOVqI2Go0GUU/s1600/11209585_10200295722312988_3033441011859464067_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="269" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwifH6ygxIv38VXWGk4VcDquTYED3NVbO7-MByPRcixNORuCok_0g1H7L3rsWxOW6BcUvzU6yrtsy42SUia0ky02igfe13CnxRguFFte8Vm-ymAwPHrnMyFQlVThxpEoZDOVqI2Go0GUU/s320/11209585_10200295722312988_3033441011859464067_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">May 2015</td></tr>
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That God has given me more blessings and gifts that I can realize, and that I don't deserve any of them. I belong entirely to the Creator and though He could do anything He likes to me, He chooses to love me even when I screw up, to pick me up when I fall, and to love me when I am at my most unloveable. </center>
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That everything I have is <i>more</i> than enough.</center>
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// <i>These are the things that make us realize // Life is beautiful - the Afters</i></center>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507747655311837599.post-83876913610737853142015-08-04T18:10:00.000-07:002015-10-05T22:48:09.338-07:00mommy's smile<center style="text-align: justify;">
The other day an elderly customer asked me, "Where did you get such a lovely smile?" Of course, I went all blushy and shy and managed to say something like, "Uhhh...thanks! ...I was born with it, I guess?" But of course the simple compliment resulted in an interesting realization: my smile is from my birthmother.</center>
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Last year I wrote a <a href="http://klarabellecandy.blogspot.com/2014/05/happy-mother-day-x-3.html" target="_blank">Mother's Day post</a> to the three women who have each been a mother to me. Though each have earned their title for different reasons, I thought I'd use this opportunity to give a shoutout to my birthmom...</center>
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... for my smile.</center>
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... for my brown eyes.</center>
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... for my laugh.</center>
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... for my size 7.5 feet.</center>
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... for my perpetually "tan" skin (especially awesome in the winter)</center>
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... for my naturally straight teeth.</center>
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... for giving me a chance.</center>
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... for looking out for me.</center>
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... for loving me.</center>
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... for saving me.</center>
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... for risking her safety to give me this and more</center>
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... for giving me up</center>
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... for giving me life.</center>
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Maybe I was an unplanned surprise. Or maybe you had to give me up, because you were waiting for a son who would be able to take care of you when you grew older. I don't know why, but I don't need to. It doesn't matter to me, because I already know everything I need to know: that you are an incredibly brave and strong woman who valued life enough to let me have the best chance. Abortion would've been easy, but you didn't choose the easy road. Instead of ending my life in its first few months, you chose life. Because of you I was able to learn how to speak, walk, read, and write. I was able to make a childless couple a family. I have been able to learn about God and His love and decide to live for Him. I've survived cancer, published a book, graduated high school, gotten a job, and fallen in love. All of this and more because you chose to give me your smile. So thank you, birthmommy. So many little boys and girls don't get that chance. </center>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507747655311837599.post-53644470611676666142015-06-18T21:28:00.001-07:002016-01-20T21:39:21.618-08:00content to be little <center style="text-align: justify;">
I used to hate being short.</center>
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Everything was just a little out of reach. Jeans from the store were always a little too long. Getting anything out of the kitchen cupboards always turned into an adventure of epic proportions that usually involved climbing, balancing, and then deliberating on how to get down again. If only I were a few inches taller, things would be so much easier.</center>
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Eventually I grew (no pun intended) to accept my fate. I even revealed my height - a little under five foot - which I'd kept a secret (even from my best friend) for several years. I made jokes that I had hobbit blood in me (although people then found it amusing to ask if I'd inherited hairy hobbit feet as well). </center>
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But recently I've been struggling with another kind of contentment - something that is deeper than fussing about my height, body shape, or complexion...deep discontentment that became anger at God and those around me. </center>
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I was frustrated that my boyfriend was at college learning about the Bible while it was a struggle for me to read a chapter in the Word each day and frustrated that he could hang out with friends whenever he wanted, when I was alone most nights. I was frustrated that several of my friends were devoting their lives to ministry while I was working at a minimum-wage job 30 hours a week, feeling like I wasn't making much difference. I was frustrated that while my best friend's parents were content for her to remain at home, my family did not wish me to do so working outside the home as well. I was frustrated that God wasn't using me to do big things, that He was passing up all my potential and giving all the opportunities to others.</center>
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This last week of May was one of the hardest weeks of my life because my boyfriend was interning at a Christian camp that I have gone to for the past 5 summers. Though I felt that God was not calling me to return as staff this year, the week that he was gone and I remained at home was not easy. I was angry at God for allowing him and not me to go. I was angry that I couldn't be there with him through the hard week and angry that other people were supporting and encouraging him in my place because I couldn't be there. I hated how I was constantly waiting for a text, a phone call, an update. I felt lost and dead inside. </center>
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When the week was almost halfway over, I finally spent a significant time in prayer. I admitted how wrong I had been and asked God to forgive me, to change my heart so that it would be pleasing to Him. I realized that perhaps God was not giving me big things to do for Him because I had not been faithful in the little tasks He had given me. I realized I needed to be content wherever and even with whomever God wanted me. The anger and frustration won't go away overnight, but I am slowly learning to be content. Even content to be little. </center>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507747655311837599.post-85318082789688773112015-04-29T07:25:00.001-07:002015-04-29T07:25:48.073-07:00Password: Christian<center style="text-align: justify;">
The fortress is ready and secure. The bridge is up, the portcullis is down, the gates are shut, and the guards at the ready - armed and aware. They know that they may be attacked at any moment, so each second they must be prepared.</center>
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But the enemy is subtle, gentle even. This time the enemy does not come as an army. Instead he comes as a lone traveler, selling wares. He looks to be no threat. And when the gatekeeper asks his business, the traveler replies with a code word. Suddenly, the bridge is let down, the portcullis is drawn up, the gates are flung wide open, and the guards abandon their posts. </center>
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The code word? </center>
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Christian.</center>
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Despite the fact that our country seems to be growing less and less godly, there seems to be no lack of "Christian" things. (Or at least, things <i>labeled</i> as Christian.) There are movies, music, t-shirts with catchy sayings, books, websites, blogs, posters -- anything you could ask for. Yet despite all of these "Christian" things, many of us believers seem to lack something even more important than the latest contemporary worship CD or the newest "Jesus" t-shirt. We lack discernment. </center>
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Most believers know that they must be careful of the world. We are called to be the salt of the earth and the city on a hill in Matthew 4:13-16...verses that most church kids know well. In Romans 12:2, we are told not to conform to this world, but to be transformed. In Ephesians 4:23-4, we are told to put off our "former conduct" and "put on the new man." We know all this. </center>
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And yet the enemy knows that sometimes subtle untruths are more effective than blatant lies. And so the enemy does not come as an army. He disguises himself and comes alone, and he knows the password. </center>
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As soon as something is labeled as "Christian", our barriers go down. We stop being discerning, because it's <i>Christian </i>after all! And we embrace it, accept it, believe it, enjoy it, and forget to search the Scriptures daily to find out whether or not these things are really so (Acts 17:11). </center>
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I'm not saying that listening to Christian contemporary music is wrong, or what wearing cute shirts with Bible verses on them is wrong. But I am saying that we should be careful. </center>
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I'll use my favorite example, Christian radio. Listen, actually listen, to some of the lyrics in those songs. The other day I was listening to Christian radio and heard the song, "More Than You Think I Am" by American Idol star Danny Gokey. One of the lines (form God's perspective, I'm guessing?) says, "But let Me tell you secrets you have never known / I think of you as My best friend." Um, pardon me, but does the idea of God needing a human best friend frighten anyone? Contrary to humanity's egotistical nature, the universe doesn't revolve around us and God definitely doesn't need us for a best friend. Does He love us? Does He want to have a relationship with us? Does He want us to glorify and praise Him for what He has done? Yes a thousand times. But God thinking of us as His best friend implies that God needs us. God existed before time and before us, and He was not any less God without us. Yet at the moment this song is listed as #8 on one of the most popular radio stations list of "Top Christian songs." And this is not to pick on this particular artist, I don't know much about him except that I heard a song that he wrote and I Googled his name. I'm not trying to question his faith or relationship with God, I'm simply using this as an example of a popular Christian song that may not be quite doctrinally sound. </center>
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You see a bunch of Christian tees in a department store. You think, "Wow, Christian t-shirts! America must still be Christian!" Or has the gospel been watered down so much that nonchristians don't see you as any different than themselves?<br />
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While you're looking at the tees, a Christian song plays on the store's radio. Yet why would nonchristians be interested in listening to music about Jesus, whom the world <i>hates</i>? Or is it that this music isn't really about Jesus at all?<br />
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Let's put our defenses back up. Just because something is labeled "Christian", it doesn't mean it is truly something that glorifies God and points others to Him. Search the scriptures daily. </center>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507747655311837599.post-83764133402811920252015-04-14T19:41:00.000-07:002015-04-14T19:41:30.164-07:00"Food" for Thought<center style="text-align: justify;">
You are a statistic.</center>
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I am a machine.</center>
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Maybe I should stop seeing you as a pie graph.</center>
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Maybe you should stop seeing me as an automaton.</center>
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Nearly 10 months ago, I got my first job. The food service industry has been quite the adventure, and though it hasn't always been easy, I've enjoyed getting to know my coworkers (as well as my regular customers!) and earning a bit of money, too. Though every job has its positives and negatives, one of the factors I've found most draining about my job is spending hours interacting with customers... yet not interacting with <i>people</i>.</center>
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When you step up to order a combo meal at a fast food restaurant, or walk up to a register to check out an article of clothing at a department store, it's somewhat natural to greet the cashier and possibly mumble a, "How are you?" But how many times do you actually listen to their reply? If they actually said something other than the expected, "good" or "fine", would you even notice? In fact, would you even care? </center>
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Now it's my turn. </center>
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There's a long line, and I'm only halfway through the lunch rush. Maybe I can tell that you're tired or stressed. Maybe I can tell that you've had a bad day. I attempt to smile, but after I've finished serving you, will I give you another thought?</center>
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Humans by nature are sinful, selfish people. And in America we're constantly encouraged to think about how we need more things, how we can make more money to buy said things, how we can get the most out of our money, what's in it for us, etc. Watch a few advertising commercials and you'll know what I mean. </center>
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Even as Christians, it's easy to slip into the habits of thinking only for ourselves. But - no surprise here - the two greatest commandments have nothing to do with ourselves. </center>
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Jesus said to him, "'You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets." [Matthew 22:37-40]</center>
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Love for God and love for others can cause us to do big things for God. But maybe sometimes we get so caught trying to do big things for God that we forget that small things matter, too. </center>
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Though I basically detest <i>The Hobbit </i>trilogy, there are a few lines from the movie that are decent. As I was writing this, a quote came to mind... </center>
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"Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay - small acts of kindness and love." [<i>The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey</i>, 2013]</center>
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I'm not saying that smiling at a cashier will change the world. (It probably won't.) But it might brighten someone's day, just a little.</center>
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Maybe I should stop seeing you as a statistic. And if I do, maybe you won't think of me as a machine. If I treat you as a <i>person</i> - made in the image of God, loved by God, valued by God - I won't think of you as a number anymore. And if you see me as a person - made in the image of God, loved by God, valued by God - then you will think of me as I really am. </center>
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Maybe there needs to be a little more kindness and a little more thought.</center>
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On both sides of the counter.</center>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507747655311837599.post-86668443418431391732015-04-01T19:38:00.001-07:002015-04-01T19:38:05.202-07:00a remembrance <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
You were always there for me.</div>
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You were part of my life for as long as I could remember. At first, you were "my dad's [eccentric] friend". You popped over to take my dad on hikes and would entertain my family with tales of your many adventures. I loved hearing "Steve stories" and even attempted to retell them to my friends. </div>
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You were always genuinely interested in me and my hobbies, and when you found out I enjoyed writing, you told me that if I ever needed an adventurous character, I could name him Nevets - your name backwards. I wrote a story about you that was later included in my book, <i>Tales of Cunburra</i>.</div>
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When I diagnosed with cancer in 2005, you wanted to help. You flew over to England to spend long nights at the hospital with me, entertain me, take care of me, and watch over me. After I was better, you came back again, this time to see the sights. You'd always wanted to see Stonehenge, so we visited and were nearly blown away by the wind. :) We spent several hours making a castle out of random things in my room, which meant a lot to me. I realized that you were more than "my dad's friend" - you were <i>my</i> friend. </div>
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When my family moved back to America in 2008, you attended my musical performances and would frequently pop over for supper. You were there when I made my very first dinner (it was horrible, but you were very gracious), and you were the first besides my family to hear me play guitar (and you were the only one who knew who Don Mclean was). When I collapsed from cardiac arrest in January 2012, you were there for me again - you came and stayed at the hospital and comforted and encouraged my parents. </div>
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You were kind of always there. Not just for me and my family, but for basically everyone you met. My story of how you loved my family is just one of many stories. It wouldn't take anyone who met you long to realize that you were one of the most genuine, caring, and beautiful souls they had ever (and would ever) meet. You loved God and you wanted to show that love to everyone you met.</div>
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When I heard that you weren't feeling well in May of last year (2014), we thought it was some sort of bad virus. I figured that in a few weeks it would be another of your stories to tell. I couldn't have imagined that you were in the middle of a massive heart attack. Then, of course, we thought that you'd get better. We knew there'd probably be a lot of rehab, but we would be with you every step of the way. It was going to be our turn to be there for you. </div>
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I came to visit you in the hospital. I could've walked in the room, but I didn't. The man in coma lying on the hospital bed was not my Steve. I figured I'd wait until you woke up, until you were getting back to your normal self again. Then that evening, I received the news that you were going to be taken off life support.</div>
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I was heartbroken, and a little part of me is still heartbroken. You have always been part of my life, in big or little ways. I find little bits of you everywhere - a pipecleaner creation that you made just for me, a letter you sent, or a Christmas gift thoughtfully chosen. You were always there and I kind of figured you would be for a long time. I imagined you at my graduation and at my wedding; I'd figured one day you'd come over and entertain my kids with Steve stories. </div>
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Sometimes I think I miss you most when something crazy happens at my work... and I wish that I could tell you my stories, because you'd listen thoughtfully...and then tell me an even crazier story of something that had happened to you! And I wish that my boyfriend had gotten a chance to meet you. </div>
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But since you have been such a part of my life for so long, I know you can never truly be gone. The memories, the stories, and the laughter are still with us. One time, after leaving England to go back to America, you left me a note in your iconic all-caps handwriting which read, "GOODBYE KARA -- SEE YOU SOON." I know that if you could've given me one last note before you left for heaven, it would've said something like that. I am so thankful that you knew the Lord and that I will one day see you again. </div>
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When you died you left behind hundreds of memories and tokens of your love... I shall treasure each one. You didn't try to change the world, but you changed the world of everyone you met. You made their world a little brighter, and little happier, and a little lighter. Whatever burden they were carrying lessened as you met them with your smile. Whatever worry they had faded just a little when you spoke with them. And whatever sadness they had felt diminished just a bit when the conversation was through. I miss you, and I miss the way you made the world brighter. But I'll see you soon.</div>
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Happy birthday, Mr. Steve.</div>
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Love,</div>
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Kara</div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507747655311837599.post-6886271136974316962015-03-17T21:17:00.000-07:002015-03-17T21:17:59.396-07:00I'm Done.One of my favorite musicals is <i>Jekyll & Hyde</i>, a Broadway show based on the book by Robert Louis Stevenson. The story explores the themes of good and evil, hypocrisy and corruption. Of course, the musical doesn't have a Christian worldview, so the remedy for evil, hypocrisy, and corruption is not Jesus' perfect blood, but instead a vial of liquid that Dr. Jekyll injects in his arm, causing him to truly become two people - one good, one completely evil (and it goes downhill from there).<br />
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One of the musical numbers is called <i>Façade</i>. In the song, the poor people of 1800's London sing about how the saintly rich wear a mask of goodness, but inside, they are as corrupt as everyone else. The song talks about how man is a "master of deceit" and "loves the façade".<br />
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I wonder, how many times do we as Christians put up our own façade?<br />
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Sometimes we like to pretend that we have it all together. We like to pretend that we don't have problems or struggles in our relationships with God. We like to pretend that we have conquered habitual sin. We like to pretend that our family lives are perfect. We like to pretend that all our thoughts are good. But they aren't.<br />
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Human beings are innately sinful. Even as Christians, we will continue to struggle with sin. God will help us if we ask Him, and He can help us to become more like Him. But we will still mess up, over and over again. That's basically a fact.<br />
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So why do we hide these facts?<br />
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One of the examples of pride that I listed in my last post was, "Not sharing your struggles with others because you want to look good to them". How can the body of Christ edify, challenge, encourage, uplift, strengthen, and help each other if we hide our problems and pretend that everything is fine? 1 Thessalonians 5:11 tells us, "Therefore comfort each other and edify one another..." Ephesians 4:29 says, "Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary <u>edification</u>, that it may impart grace to the hearers." (emphasis added) Galatians 6:2 tells us to, "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." Hebrews 3:13 tells us to, "exhort one another daily..." But how can we do this if we hide our struggles, burdens, and fears from our brothers and sisters in Christ?<br />
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I'm not necessarily saying that you should blurt out your problems to everyone who asks, "How are you?" But I am gently suggesting that maybe we should stop telling people, "I'm fine", or "I had a great week!" when we really didn't. Maybe we should start being honest with each other. Maybe we should start holding one another accountable. Maybe we should start lowering our façades and letting people see us as we truly are - sinners redeemed by Christ. Sinners who will make mistakes, over and over and over again, but sinners who can change by the power of Christ. Yes, it's scary to let people in. Yes, it can be painful. But when we humble ourselves enough to allow us to become vulnerable, then we will actually be able to help, strengthen, and edify one another. And others will lower their guards too. And then we will see each other as we truly are, and we will be able to truly help one another.<br />
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Let's start by lowering the façades. Not all at once, perhaps... we can go slowly. But we can start. Let's let ourselves be just a little vulnerable... it's remarkable how freeing it can be.<br />
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"So we stay on our guard<br />
Though we love the façade<br />
What's behind the façade?<br />
Look behind...the façade."<br />
- <i>Jekyll & Hyde, the Musical</i><br />
<br />
"Klarabelle"Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507747655311837599.post-50814197574684946382015-03-03T20:30:00.001-08:002015-03-03T20:30:27.544-08:00A Dangerous Disease (And Its Remedy)<center>
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My dear friends, I feel it my duty to warn you of a danger that has infiltrated our churches, our families, and our relationships, causing friendships and fellowships to be ripped apart and replaced with jealousy, strife, and sorrow. It starts in the heart and then spreads to the mind and to the actions. If left untreated, it can only lead to destruction.</div>
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This disease is pride.</div>
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<u>What Pride Isn't (And What It Is) </u></div>
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When I was growing up, I knew about pride, but I had a misunderstanding of its true nature. I thought that pride was simply "thinking yourself as better than others". Pride was thinking, "I can ride my bike much better than so-and-so!" "My toys are so much cooler than so-and-so's!" "My clothes are nicer than..." and so on.<br />
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But over the past few years, I've learned about both more deeply and more painfully than I ever would've desired. Pride is so much more than "thinking yourself as better than others", because what does thinking about yourself as better really entail?</div>
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Pride includes...</div>
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-- Not sharing your struggles with others because you want to look good to them</div>
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-- Insisting on always being right (even when you are not)</div>
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-- Not allowing others to take part or lead (because you want to do it all yourself)</div>
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-- Not listening, taking offense at, or becoming defensive in response to reproof or instruction</div>
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-- Feeling that you deserve something from God or that He is withholding something from you</div>
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Can you think of a few more examples that might not usually be attributed to pride? Pride is not so much as thinking of yourself as better than others, but simply thinking of yourself too much.<br />
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Pride has a remedy.</div>
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The remedy is humility.</div>
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<br class="Apple-interchange-newline" /><span style="text-decoration: underline;">What Humility is NOT (and What it is)</span></div>
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When I was growing up, I learned about humility too, but I had a misunderstanding of all it entailed. I thought that humility was simply "thinking about others more." - being focused on other people instead of yourself. Humility was thinking, "So-and-so is really good at _____." etc.</div>
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But humility is so much more than simply thinking about others more. Because often times, thinking of others can simply lead to comparison. "So-and-so is much better at me than _____." Comparison often leads to discontentment - "I wish could ____ like _____." "Why didn't God give me _____ like ____?"</div>
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Another (false) definition of humility flip-flops "thinking yourself as better than others" to "thinking of others as <i>better than</i> yourself". This is wrong because this, too, is self-centered. The sentence, "____ is better at ____ than me." is still all about <i>me</i>.</div>
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I've come to believe that humility is seeing ourselves the way God sees us. It's seeing ourselves as broken, sinful, desperate, and completely lost on our own. But it's also seeing ourselves as something of value because we are created in the image of God. He loves us, He cares for us, and He gave His Son to take our place so that we would be able to have a relationship with Him.</div>
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<u>Broadening Our Definitions</u></div>
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Someone who, for example, feels that God is withholding something from them might say, "I'm not prideful because I'm not thinking of others more than myself." But they <i>are</i> being prideful, because that discontent stems from pride. Someone who thinks, "That person is better at ____ than me. I wish I was like them." might think they are being humble - after all, they are complimenting another person! But in truth they are not being humble at all. </div>
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Maybe it's just me, but does it seem like to you that our definitions of pride and humility need to be broadened? We have narrowed the definitions of pride and humility so that we think we are free from the former but possess the latter... but instead we have deceived ourselves. We have allowed pride to sneak into our lives, beginning in our hearts, spreading to our minds, and then influencing our actions.</div>
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The Bible, particularly Proverbs, warns us about pride. Probably the most well-known verse is Proverbs 16:18 - "Pride goes before destruction, [a]nd a haughty spirit before a fall." In James 4:6, it says that "God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble."</div>
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Let us strive to resist pride, with God's help, and pray for His grace to give us true humility, my friends.</div>
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"For I say, through the grace given to me, to everyone who is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith..." Romans 12:3</div>
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//Sorry about not posting this last week; it slipped my mind.//</center>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507747655311837599.post-42653121401948717662015-02-17T20:14:00.000-08:002015-02-17T20:15:04.230-08:00I don't need coffee. <div style="text-align: justify;">
One scoop of instant coffee. Half a scoop of fake sugar. 1/4 some Italian sweet creamer from the grocery store. Some boiling water from the kettle. All mixed together and poured messily into a turquoise to-go mug.</div>
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10 minutes later. I have successfully chugged the coffee in time to arrive at work feeling (and hopefully looking) preppy.</div>
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It lasts about 2 hours.</div>
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Then I crash.</div>
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Really hard.</div>
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And I kind of just want to hide from the world.</div>
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* * *</div>
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Okay, so I'm not sure if I'd say I <i>love</i> coffee (compared to my friends who are coffee connoisseurs, I know virtually nothing about coffee) or even that I'm addicted to caffeine (I <i>can</i> survive a day without it...I think). But as I was attributed my anti-social and irritable behavior on my coffee-deficient body, I slowly realized something. How often do I blame my grumpy and negative attitudes and actions on lack of caffeine?</div>
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I mean, type "coffee love" into Pinterest, and you find all sorts of cute pins made in the adoration of coffee. </div>
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<a href="http://www.thesassylife.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/benefits-of-drinking-coffee.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.thesassylife.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/benefits-of-drinking-coffee.jpg" height="320" width="309" /></a></div>
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{<a href="https://www.pinterest.com/pin/417497827929175738/" target="_blank">source</a>}</div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://s3.amazonaws.com/curalate-public-assets/s3-assets/bd39c5b8-fec9-4257-bcc4-c86572fca7a5.png?crlt.pid=camp.5ydCYPBVzWHX" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://s3.amazonaws.com/curalate-public-assets/s3-assets/bd39c5b8-fec9-4257-bcc4-c86572fca7a5.png?crlt.pid=camp.5ydCYPBVzWHX" width="320" /></a></div>
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{<a href="https://www.pinterest.com/pin/528117493779263714/" target="_blank">source</a>}</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEichOuWYcJK332VeuOQLa_dX5EUcHp6bTQW9uczk58zGRahsRazMj_9yBCQS8xCTlVf3dSlcM2r8XOwSX4r0sVzZdimU-27WjCy2Wxa_vVD2xCZp_YZl1a9R5szX7VrM2lfcBn2haqjKRI/s1600/SponsoredBy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEichOuWYcJK332VeuOQLa_dX5EUcHp6bTQW9uczk58zGRahsRazMj_9yBCQS8xCTlVf3dSlcM2r8XOwSX4r0sVzZdimU-27WjCy2Wxa_vVD2xCZp_YZl1a9R5szX7VrM2lfcBn2haqjKRI/s1600/SponsoredBy.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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{<a href="http://www.rogersfamilyco.com/index.php/note-self-rogers-family-coffee/" target="_blank">source</a>}</div>
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(Isn't it fantastic that all of the pins are the same size? It made my self-diagnosed OCD very happy).<br />
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I mean, most people probably refer to their desire for coffee in jest. I mean, most people don't get out of bed thinking, "I get to drink coffee today! Life is worth living!" (Do they?) But notice how in these few pictures, coffee is also attributed to good moods/feelings, energy, and motivation. Therefore without coffee one could assume it is acceptable to be grumpy, irritable, lethargic, and unmotivated... or in general, unhappy.<br />
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I'm not saying it's wrong to drink caffeine. Or that everyone who drinks coffee idolizes it into some kind of magic potion. But I am saying that maybe - at least for myself - I'm looking to the wrong thing for my happiness, energy, and motivation.<br />
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<i>Joy</i><br />
(Yes, I know happiness isn't the same thing as joy... but bear with me). In Nehemiah 8:10, Nehemiah tells the people, "The joy of the Lord is your strength." 1 Thessalonians 5:12 tells us to, "Rejoice always." Psalm 118:24 says, "This is the day that the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it." One of the fruits of the spirit is joy. And I have struggled for several years with discontentment and therefore lack of joy.<br />
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<i>Energy (Strength)</i><br />
Isaiah 40:28-31 says,<br />
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Have you not known?<br />
Have you not heard?<br />
The everlasting God, the LORD,<br />
The Creator of the ends of the earth,<br />
Neither faints nor is weary.<br />
His understanding is unsearchable.<br />
He gives power to the weak,<br />
And to <i>those who have</i> no might He increases strength.<br />
And the young men shall utterly fall,<br />
But those who wait on the LORD<br />
Shall renew <i>their</i> strength;<br />
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,<br />
They shall run and not be weary,<br />
They shall walk and not faint. </blockquote>
Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."<br />
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<i>Motivation (Perseverance) </i><br />
Galatians 6:9 encourages us, "And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart." Romans 5:3a-4 encourages us that "...tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope." 2 Thessalonians 3:13 says, "But <i>as for</i> you, brethren, do not grow weary <i>in</i> doing good."<br />
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Something that I've been learning recently is not to rely on myself. I've been trying so hard to change what's wrong in my life and in myself, but I've been relying on is a fallible, flawed, and messed up human being. It isn't enough to try to change myself. I have to surrender - give all to God, and allow Him to change me.<br />
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I need to find my joy, energy, and motivation in Him. I need to find my joy delighting in Him, find my strength in doing His will, and find my motivation from knowing that He will reward those who persevere.<br />
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When I'm grumpy because I'm discontent about my circumstances, I can't blame that on my lack of coffee. I have to find its true source, surrender it to God, and ask Him to change me.<br />
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When I'm feeling completely drained, I need to spend time with God reminding myself who He is and delighting in Him.<br />
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When I'm feeling unmotivated, I need to remind myself that life is short. God has work for me. There isn't much time and I need to spend my time here on earth being productive and doing His work.<br />
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Take a look at the quote below and think about it for a bit.<br />
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<a href="http://www.thenewlywedpilgrimage.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/ALL-I-NEED-TODAY-IS-A-LITTLE-BIT-OF-COFFEE-AND-A-WHOLE-LOT-OF-JESUS-GRAPHIC-PRINTABLE.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://www.thenewlywedpilgrimage.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/ALL-I-NEED-TODAY-IS-A-LITTLE-BIT-OF-COFFEE-AND-A-WHOLE-LOT-OF-JESUS-GRAPHIC-PRINTABLE.jpg" height="400" width="266" /></a></div>
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{<a href="https://www.pinterest.com/pin/275141858460661727/" target="_blank">source</a>}</div>
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The first time I saw the above on one of my late-night Pinterest scrolling, I thought it was cute. But even though it was almost certainly written with the best and lightest of intentions, isn't it interesting how the word "and" is included? But wait - isn't Jesus ALL we need? There is no need for Jesus AND. We only need Jesus. Maybe the saying should be, "Less coffee, more Jesus." </div>
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God's Word and my relationship with Him is all I need to be renewed, reenergized, and filled with His joy.<br />
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I don't need coffee.<br />
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<img alt=" photo kara.signature_zpsludd1qzl.png" border="0" src="http://i1283.photobucket.com/albums/a559/MorningTime4/smallies/kara.signature_zpsludd1qzl.png~original" style="text-align: -webkit-center;" /><br />
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P.S. But I also <a href="http://klarabellecandy.blogspot.com/p/about.html" target="_blank">promised honesty</a> on this blog... and to be completely honest, I must tell you this. Today I came to work completely un-caffeinated today and lasted only a few hours before I headed off to buy a frappuccino. The irony and the hypocrisy. I really am sorry.<br />
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P.P.S. Like the new look? Check out the AM post for more info. :)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507747655311837599.post-89857906530677241142015-02-17T07:50:00.003-08:002015-02-17T07:51:15.712-08:00New blog design!<center style="text-align: left;">
Heyo!</center>
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So... you've probably noticed it looks a little different around here. :) The incredible Morning of <a href="http://theworldthroughmywindowsill.blogspot.com/" target="_blank">The Ups and Downs of My Not-So-Average-Life</a> was so kind as to redesign my blog for me! :) She did an amazing job, don't you think? Thanks so much, Morning! :) </center>
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<img alt=" photo kara.signature_zpsludd1qzl.png" border="0" src="http://i1283.photobucket.com/albums/a559/MorningTime4/smallies/kara.signature_zpsludd1qzl.png~original" /></center>
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P.S. Another Tuesday post to follow!</center>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507747655311837599.post-78997776832861381712015-02-10T18:08:00.000-08:002015-02-17T07:45:40.907-08:00The Fault In OurselvesGuys, I read <i>The Fault In Our Stars.</i><br />
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If you like the book, you probably won't like what I have to say.<br />
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You have been fairly warned.<br />
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The Fault in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ourselves</i> – Semi-Collected Thoughts Upon
the Reading of John Green’s Best-Selling Tearjerker<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="color: #990000;">Spoiler Alert: This is not a review, these are reflections.
Spoilers abound.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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I. Why I Read “The Fault in Our Stars”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The fact
that I actually read the book might come as a surprise to some, considering my
previous posts concerning bestsellers generally bear titles similar to, “Why I
Am <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Not</i> Reading ________”. But one
reason I decided to read the tale of two “extraordinary teenagers” – who also happen to be cancer
patients – is because, although I may not be an “extraordinary teenager”,
I was once a cancer patient. On October
4, 2005, I was diagnosed with osteosarcoma – the same kind of cancer Augustus
Waters is in remission from in <i>The Fault
In Our Stars</i>. And like the book’s main character, I had a wish that came
true due to what Hazel – or rather John Green – calls a “cancer perk”. I
guessed that I probably wouldn’t agree with the worldview of the book, but I
wanted to read it because I wanted to know if the cancer that is making teenage
girls cry is the cancer that so many real teens have, or whether it’s some kind
of Hollywood/John Green version. I wanted to know whether the death was
romanticized or realistic. And so I bought a copy of the book, opened it up,
and began to read. But to be honest, my cancer story is nothing like Hazel or
Augustus’; I couldn't really compare it at all. Yes, every cancer story is unique, because each person is different
and therefore every story and every experience is different. But I have, and I
pray that you have, something that Augustus and Hazel do not have. And that is
hope – real hope.</div>
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II. Initial Thoughts<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I’d read a
synopsis of the book so I’d know which sections to skip. Generally to review a
book, one must actually read the entire book, but this is not a review and there are some scenes in the
story of which I am perfectly content to remain ignorant. I honestly find it
hard to understand how Christian girls can read this book without feeling
uncomfortable.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>However,
when Green’s writing is not a) inappropriate/using swear words or b) ____ about
God, he’s a pretty good writer. Some of the book’s witticisms did make my mouth
twitch in an upward direction, and I will admit that I teared up (and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">might</i> have sniffled) at some parts. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Though I
was not surprised, I was frustrated that every mention of God and/or
Christianity was either written in a disrespectful or condescending way. Any
characters with any kind of Christian inclination are seen as detached from
reality or pitifully ignorant at best (and rather unfeeling at worst). Augustus
states that he believes in a “Something with a capital ‘S’”, but his musings don’t
extend much further than that. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
III. Why?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This book,
and seemingly any book about death or suffering, brings up the question, “Why
do bad things happen?” Usually the question is, “Why do bad things happen to
good people?” But Hazel and Augustus don’t really seem to think of themselves
as good or bad. Those factors don’t appear to matter. Augustus fears
“oblivion”, and Hazel fears the suffering her parents will endure when her terminal cancer finally takes her life. But neither of them appear to have any
fear of hell or even consider it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
IV. Hope<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Let’s face
it – this book is just plain depressing. Sure, it has its, “Awww” moments and
its laughable sentences, but this book is mostly just, well, sad. The book
ends on a mildly happier note as Hazel is assured that her parents will live on
even after she does not, and that they will always be her parents just as she
will always be their daughter. But in the end, she never knows what happened to
Augustus after he died; she never knows whether or not he fell into the
oblivion he feared or even if she will ever see him again. The message this
book sends is basically, “Let us love and live however we want, for tomorrow we
die!” <span class="oblique"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Fault In Our Stars</i> poses lots of
deep questions; it prompts readers to think about life and death. But it
doesn’t give its readers any answers. In a way, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Fault In Our Stars</i> is just as unfinished as <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">An Imperial Affliction</i>, a book Hazel
loves, which ends mid-sentence, leaving the reader hanging and wondering what happened to the main character and her family. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Fault
In Our Stars</i> shows us suffering, but it doesn’t give us any true hope.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The main
reason my cancer story is so different from Hazel and Augustus’ is because I
have something they didn’t. I have faith – not the kind of faith that is only
expressed in stereotypical comments and feel-good “sentiments” hung on walls –
but the kind of faith that sustains a family in the darkest of times and brings
hope when it seems like all hope is lost. Christ arose and therefore we know
that there is a resurrection for us as well. Death is not the end, and those
whose sins have been forgiven do not have to fear it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Also, I
have the answer. The Bible gives us the answer. Why do bad things happen to
“good” people? Because we are not “good” people. To parody old friend
Shakespeare, one could say, “To obey, or not to obey?” (Spoiler alert: The
first two people chose to disobey God, and since then everyone else has chosen
to disobey God too). Because God loved us so much He created Adam and Eve with
a will so that they would have the ability to choose to obey Him. Death and
suffering were the consequences of their disobedience, because sin is serious.
Though our unchanging God has always loved us, He has never hated sin any less.
But God loved us so much He gives us hope, true hope – that those who trust
Jesus as their Savior from sin’s punishment need not fear death. In a way we
are all “grenades” because death will come for each and every one of us (unless
Jesus comes back first). But spoiler alert – Jesus lives. And because He lives,
we have true hope. Jesus overturned death because He gave His life as the
sacrifice for our sins. If you know Jesus as your Savior, then you can know
that God will sustain and guide you through the darkest of times, and you can
hold onto the promise that one day we will no longer have to experience death
or suffering, but will be able to worship God forever. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This makes
me think of the hymn, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">He Lives</i>. The
chorus says, “Because he lives / I can face tomorrow / Because he lives / All
fear is gone / Because I know / He holds the future / And Life is worth the
living / Just because He lives.” (And frankly, I’d much rather have <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">that</i> quoted to me than, “The Red
Wheelbarrow” poem {which Hazel quotes to Augustus}). <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
V. Conclusion<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Shakespeare
was right. The fault, dear friends, “is not in our stars, but in ourselves”.
Praise the Lord that He loves us despite our fault and despite ourselves!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while
we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8<o:p></o:p></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507747655311837599.post-3546668327382942015-02-03T20:23:00.000-08:002015-08-18T22:38:23.273-07:00Courtship is Not a Cookie CutterJune 02, 2014. 8:45 p.m. His car pulls up to the house and he parks by the curb. He climbs out and closes the door behind him. I kind of can't stop smiling. He asks my parents if we can go on a walk. We proceed a few feet down the sidewalk before he says, "The cat's kind of out of the bag now, so... will you be my girlfriend?"<br />
<br />
Rewind to earlier in the day, where I've just gotten off the phone to find out that I've been offered a job that I recently interviewed for. "We have some news for you," my mom says. Naturally, I start to worry. News? Is someone sick? Dying? Dead? "No, it's good news," she assures me, and goes on to tell me that "a young man" is interested in courting me. And as soon as I find out who it is, I kind of start crying. <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">First Official "Date"</td></tr>
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And so began the most exciting eight months of my life (so far :)). It hasn't always been easy, but the best part about it is that we have each other and we are excited to see where God will lead us. <br />
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But in the midst of this sappy post, I thought I'd share a few things I've learned through the courtship process so far. One of the most surprising things I've learned is...<br />
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<u><b>Courtship is not a cookie cutter.</b></u> "Well, duh," you might think. But what that simple statement entails is so much that I did not expect. It's that every courtship is different. It can be <i>very</i> different. And that's okay.<br />
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I am a legalistic person by nature; I am rule-oriented and am most comfortable when all rules are followed. I also hate conflict. I desire to learn the right thing to do, then do it, then encourage everyone else to do the exact same thing, so that a) everyone will be following the rules b) there is no conflict. However, I learned that my approach is not ideal, practical, or even necessarily right!<br />
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There are quite a few Biblical guidelines about relationships - we are told to flee sexual immorality (1 Cor 6:18, 1 Thess 4:3-5) and to put to death "fornication, uncleanness, passion...evil desire..." (Col 3:, NKJV). Proverbs 4:28 says, "Keep your heart with all diligence, [f]or out of it spring the issues of life." We are also told to love others selflessly - "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you..." (John 13:34). <br />
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When I first began to learn more about purity - not only physical, but emotional purity as well - I read <i>Before You Meet Prince Charming</i> by Sarah Mally. Then I read <i>It's (Not That) Complicated</i> by the Botkin Sisters, and<i> </i>the famous <i>I Kissed Dating Goodbye</i> by Josh Harris. Almost everything the books said about relationships and purity made sense, and I agreed with it. Then, shortly after my courtship began, this article - <a href="http://www.thomasumstattd.com/2014/08/courtship-fundamentally-flawed/" target="_blank">Why Courtship is Fundamentally Flawed</a> - started floating around social media. At first, I was offended by the title, but eventually I decided to read it, deciding before I read the first word that I would disagree wholeheartedly when everything the article said. Then my boyfriend and my mother both read it, and said it brought up some valid points! I was frustrated that not everything could agree. Then slowly, I began to realize something.<br />
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<u><b>Each relationship is different, because God made everyone unique.</b></u> Although a relationship should include guidelines and rules, one of the most important
(and perhaps often overlooked) is the heart. Not in the "follow your heart" sense, but your heart motives. It's much easier for me to set up a bunch of rules and try to follow them than to discern whether or not my heart is in the right place. Are you seeking to glorify God in this relationship? <br />
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My relationship might look different than yours. We hold hands. We go on "dates". We call each other "boyfriend" and "girlfriend". He tickles me when I'm upset. I send him letters with weird doodles. We nerd out about <i>Lord of the Rings</i> together. And we have invented an economy of optimism (don't even ask). Does my relationship look different than yours? Most definitely. Is that okay? If our hearts are in the right place, then I think its safe to say, yes.<br />
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"Klarabelle"Unknownnoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507747655311837599.post-48748746992010473592015-01-31T19:47:00.000-08:002015-02-17T07:47:12.903-08:00hey, it's me.Hey, I'm still here. Sort of. I mean, I disappeared from the blogosphere, but I didn't stop existing... Life has been completely insane. I got a job. And a boyfriend. (Both on the same day, actually, but...more on that later.) And about an hour ago I realized that a) I really miss the blogging life (aka, I miss you guys! But enough sappiness) b) Life isn't going to get any less crazy c) I need to find time for blogging again! So here I am. And I will attempt to post something every Tuesday. I cannot promise that my Tuesday posts will be anything of immense value or that they will contain life-changing quality. But Lordwilling, I will try to make them happen. <br />
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"Klarabelle"Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507747655311837599.post-18468608924218022772014-08-31T17:20:00.000-07:002014-08-31T17:20:43.576-07:00#greenified<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The photo/caption says pretty much everything. This summer my amazing parents finally said yes to painting my room! We tried bunches of different colors... light yellow, teal, and purple, before finally settling on green! And there 'tis!<br />
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"Klarabelle"Unknownnoreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507747655311837599.post-13156032984562679762014-06-18T21:20:00.002-07:002014-06-18T21:20:40.011-07:00<div style="text-align: justify;">
Well, I graduated.</div>
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June 07, 2014... My fellow homeschool graduate and I walked down the aisle wearing shiny purple gowns to <i>Pomp and Circumstance</i> (I myself feeling completely ridiculous); our pastor gave an awesome "graduates' charge"; I gave a very nerdy (#lotr) grad speech (and my friend gave a very sweet one); our parents shared about us, prayed over us, and handed over us our diplomas; and we walked back down the aisle to the recessional of <i>Take My Life.</i> Then we headed downstairs, stood by our tables, and greeted the lovely family and friends who came to the ceremony and also those who just came to the open house. <i> </i></div>
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12 years of home school and I'm finally done. I'm not sure exactly how I feel about this... it's a little crazy, realizing that when the school year rolls around this year I won't be unpacking my new school books or signing up for classes at the Homeschool Learning Center. Instead, I'll be on to new adventures with new goals.</div>
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Honestly, I have struggled with a lot of anxiety involving my post high school plans. They're unorthodox, unexpected, and generally frowned upon by society. I've mentioned before on my blog about how I have decided not to go to college. Let me just say I an incredibly thankful for friends and family who have supported my decision and instead of trying to change my mind by suggesting degrees for me to pursue, have encouraged me that I am following God's leading for my life and reminding me that even though it is not the norm, that does not make it any less worthy. I'm really hoping that since I've graduated, people will stop interrogating me... though I'm pretty sure I can't hope for that for a couple more years. :D</div>
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Anyway, post graduation has already brought on several changes, one of which being a job (so exciting). I don't know exactly what God has planned for me, but I know that He is a good God and He will take care of me. I am so thankful for all He has done for me so far, from birth to graduation... looking forward to what's next!<br /><br />Thank you so much for your support and encouragement. <br /><br />"Klarabelle"</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507747655311837599.post-22697315616460949532014-05-16T16:42:00.002-07:002014-05-16T16:42:54.215-07:00<div style="text-align: justify;">
"Elfie. Why couldn't you have stayed calm for once - instead of flying off the handle?" #storyofmylife</div>
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It's crazy, but sometimes I feel like everything is drama, melodrama, potential crises, halfway authentic crises, more drama, and occasionally an "actual" crises (mental breakdowns, lengthy misunderstandings that take muchos apologies, tears, and diplomacy to figure out, etc. <--- ok, maybe I exaggerated a bit, but you get the point), and oh - did I mention drama? {Ok, from reading that paragraph, you're probably thinking that <i>I</i> am a major source in the dramatics around here... that's probably true}</div>
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The latest drama: Why do things have to be complicated? I mean, it's a "good" complicated... in the sense that it's probably improving our lives, improving our relationships with and ability to communicate with others, and other good stuff like that. But frankly, occasionally I think it would be much safer to close the door, curl up with my favorite pillows, a bag of cookies by my side, and pull out an old-fashioned book, not planning to come out until, um... the next day. Or maybe the day after that. Whenever the cookies and the water run out. Instead I am battling the new High IQ Phone, trying to figure out how to delete contacts without deleting them off <i>everyone's</i> phone, how to add contacts without adding them to <i>everyone's</i> phone, how to change my home page photo, how to... yeah, you get the point.</div>
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Technology is great... it's saved lives, improved communication, formed new friendships that might not have otherwise happened... it's enabled plumbing, electricity, iPods, cars that move fast, and all that fun stuff.</div>
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But sometimes, I think, I'm just getting too old for change... ;)<br /><br />"Klarabelle"<br /><br />Disclaimer: This was meant as a semi-humorous post, <i>not</i> as a complaint. I am super excited about my new phone (whom I hope to name Fiyero!), I just wish it... came with an instruction manual.</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507747655311837599.post-1700533772189091382014-05-09T20:51:00.001-07:002015-02-17T07:46:11.179-08:00Happy Mother's Day... x 3There are many amazing ladies who have been influential in my life, some of them that I do not even know personally or have helped my family or me in ways I am unaware of. But on this day to celebrate and honor mothers, I could think of three that most certainly deserve my thanks.<br />
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My birthmom. I don't know her name or what she looks like. I don't know her age, her likes or her dislikes, what makes her smile or what makes her angry, what makes her laugh or what makes her cry. But I do know this: that she must be an incredibly brave and strong woman who valued life because she chose to cherish the life that God had given her - she chose to give my my best chance even though it probably wasn't easy. I don't know you, but I love you, and I will be eternally grateful to you. </div>
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My fostermom. Though I don't remember you (I was just a little munchkin back then!), I treasure the photos we have together, and the video of you holding me when my parents got to meet you. Love you!</div>
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And lastly, to my mom... Thank you for being my mommio/Mosbio/Moommy and many other random names... For quoting Lord of the Rings. And Stormbreaker. And Endeavour. And more... For letting me talk to you for hours about my books... For being totally willing to drive me. Everywhere. And listen to Josh Groban everytime. For exercising "tough love" when it was really necessary (not like that happens often though, right?). For training me up in The Lord. For believing when I doubted. For always inspiring me to be a better person, to grow closer to the Lord. For being strong when I'm not. For reminding me who is stronger than both of us. I love you. </div>
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Happy Mothers Day to three incredible women. Thank you for choosing life so that I could be here today. </div>
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"Klarabelle" </div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507747655311837599.post-79718563424255878912014-05-04T19:49:00.003-07:002014-05-04T19:50:39.397-07:00thank you for the danceUntil a few days ago, I had never been to a high school dance for a variety of reasons, including I wasn't really allowed to, I was afraid to go, I didn't know how to dance (that hasn't changed immensely), and I was too self-conscious. But a couple months ago I picked up a dress for $4 at the thrift store, and my mom commented that I could go to one of the local homeschool dances if I wanted to so that I could wear the dress I bought. (I actually didn't end up wearing that dress, but I wore another thrift store dress that my mom and I found together!)<br />
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So here I am! <br />
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Thank you, R., K., M., and A. for hanging out before the dance and for the Chick-Fil-A! ;) And thank you to my buddies who "forced" me to dance even though I probably looked ridiculous... (and for helping me out during a group dance by saying, "Go to the left! Now!") and to the girlies who hid in the bathroom with me when <i>Call Me Maybe</i> and <i>What Does the Fox Say</i> came on... and for telling me I'm beautiful whether my shawl covers up the scar on my arm or not... and thanks to my musical-loving girlfriend who walked up and requested so many musical songs that eventually the DJ was forced to explain that musical songs didn't really fit the style of the dance... and to the young man who danced with me even though he had to coach me the whole way through... </div>
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Thanks for letting me feel like an average homeschooling teenage girl for a night. Thanks so much for the fun night full of laughter, photos, re-connecting with old friends, and making new memories with "old" friends... </div>
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This was my first and last high school dance. Thanks for making it a good one. <3</div>
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"Klarabelle" </div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507747655311837599.post-22475388619738714932014-04-22T09:20:00.000-07:002014-04-22T09:20:24.439-07:00maybe i should stop titling my posts because i can't seem to think of a good name... At the moment I am procrastinating.<br />
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I am sitting at the dinner table with my Diet Mountain Dew, wearing my "I'm not bossy, I just have better ideas t-shirt", making obnoxious noises with my red-and-white flip flops, and noticing that my computer battery is down to 47%. Oops. <br />
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The weather has finally perked up around here (I was actually sweating yesterday and rummaged through my summer clothes bin in a vain attempt to find my denim shorts) and with the windows open, it smells like spring. We used to open the windows in England because our British house didn't have AC... so now the warm air floating through the windowsills (albeit through screens here in "the States") reminds me of tapping away at my computer keyboard in East Anglia. The lovely weather is really getting me excited for summer... (the other reason I'm excited for my favourite season of the year is that hopefully, it will remove some of the large tick population that seems to have infested our yard. The dog keeps accidentally bringing in obnoxious creatures that crawl around on the kitchen floor!) <br />
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So, what are you excited for?<br /><br />"Klarabelle"Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6507747655311837599.post-26643206097524668672014-04-12T16:01:00.000-07:002014-04-12T16:01:19.138-07:00I need to stop lying to myself.<br />
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I'm not particularly beautiful. Sometimes I look pretty, but most of the time I just look alright. I have potential, but not as much potential as some others because I'm not 'normal' - I have a disability that could be much worse - I should be thankful for it, but instead I feel like it's always holding me back from being who I was really meant to be. A surgery saved my life, and I can only think about how different it makes me from everyone else. People ask me about the scar on my forehead or the scar on the back of my arm (good thing they can't see the 10 inch scar on my arm! That would really start questions!), and I freeze up and can't talk about it I just want to go home, close the door, turn on my music, and belt out Elphaba's part in <i>Defying Gravity</i> until I feel better.<br />
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^ Those are the lies.<br />
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Someday I'll accept the fact that although I am not as beautiful as some girls, I still look nice sometimes. Someday I'll accept that even though I have scars and disabilities, I'm still made in God's image and that my value should come from that fact, not from whether I have perfect skin or nice hips. Someday I'll accept the fact that the many surgeries kept me alive, and that I do have potential as a human being, even if I'm not a 'normal' human being like 'everyone' else. Someday I'll be able to tell people that the scar on my arm is from childhood cancer, in which a tumor was removed from my arm and replaced with an metal rod in a limb-sparing surgery. Someday I'll be able to tell them that the small scar that is occasionally visible on the back of my arm is from the surgery where they tried to lengthen the rod to make my arm a bit longer (it didn't exactly work). And someday I'll realize that it could've been much worse, that I could've lost my arm or even died. And someday I'll see it all as a miracle instead of a disability. That's the way I used to think of it, before I realized how different it made me and before I realized how much it would change my future. Someday I'll return to that childlike belief, a belief that is thankful for life and a belief that doesn't care about lipstick, makeup, and boys or wonder what kind of man would marry a girl who can hardly to housework.<br />
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Someday I'll stop letting myself believe the lies, and someday I'll believe the truth. This is the truth: "For the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." {<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Samuel+16%3A7&version=NKJV" target="_blank">1 Samuel 16:7</a>, KJV}. But you see, that's just it. The problem is not that my right arm is several inches shorter than my other, and that it has limited functions that send me into panic mode when someone asks me to do something I physically cannot do. That's not the problem. The problem is my heart, my heart that is so focused on <i>me</i> that it can't see Jesus. That it can't see a new heaven and a new earth where God will wipe away our tears and where we will be in perfect fellowship with Him, when everything that has happened on earth will be cause of praise to God and not a cause for sadness. When the many miracles that He has done in my life will cause me to praise Him and love Him even more.<br />
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That's the truth. But right now, I can't see past the lies.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5