2. Writing Tip of the Day!

Heyyy!  I actually remembered!  Feel free to give me candy, cuz I actually remembered!!!  :) 

Okay, enough begging...  time for ze writing tip of ze day!!!

One thing that bothers my "inner editor" is looong lists of people.  For example: (I'm going to mess around with some descriptions first...bear with me!)


The air seemed chilly and crisp on that fateful day back in December, 1998.  Even so, the winter air did not stop Alice from her quest.  She knew she must finish her Christmas shopping before Christmas Eve-Eve!  She called her five best friends - Katelyn, Talia, Sarah, Sydney and Kara, to go Christmas shopping with her.  Before long, Katelyn, Talia, Sarah, Sydney and Kara were piled into the van alongside Alice.  On the way to the mall, Katelyn, Talia, Sarah, Sydney and Kara sang Christmas carols!  They even rolled down the windows and sang to the people walking by (although there weren't too many joggers or walkers or travelers because of the cold weather!)!  Alice accomplished her task within a few hours - a record for a procrastinator and indecisive girl like Alice! - and before long, Katelyn, Talia, Sarah, Sydney, Kara and Alice were back in the car on the way home.  It was a successful last-minute Christmas Eve-Eve-Eve shopping trip.
  
Okay...  so did anything bother you about that random super-duper-short story!?  Well for me if I read that, what would bother me would be the looong and repetitive lists of names.  I'm not saying lists of names are bad (there aren't a lot of correct ways to write, since creativity is different with every user!), but they can be a little tiring to the reader.  Instead of saying, "Katelyn, Talia, Sarah, Sydney and Kara", you could say, "Alice's shopping companions", "Alice's friends", etc.  Or, you could give them a cool name!  Alexandre Dumas named his characters Porthos, Athos and Aramis the "Three Musketeers".  J.R.R. Tolkien didn't write, "Boromir, Aragorn, Pippin, Frodo, Sam, Gandalf, (oooh I just blanked, who are the other guys?  Oh yeah) Legolas, Merry and Gimli" every time he wanted to talk about them as a group.  Instead he said...  that's right, LotR fans, you got it - the "Fellowship of the Ring!"

So there you go.  A writing tip / suggestion of the day! 

Thanks for your sweet comments on my other writing tip...  I hope this one is just as helpful!

Writers Rock!
"Klarabelle"