you don't have to LIVE it to LOVE it

For as long as I can remember, I have loved writing. My characters have kept me company for years; ideas and inspirations have come from anywhere and everywhere. Although I have more or less given up my impractical dream of being a full-time published author, I still have hopes for my writing and I still, for lack of a better word, 'love' writing, and I hope I always shall. But over the past few years, I discovered another 'love' - musical theater.

Though I have probably enjoyed music for as long as I have craved writing, musical theater first came to the foreground when I saw a homeschool production of Les Misèrables and around the same time, watched the movie The Phantom of the Opera. Later I was blessed to be part of a homeschool production of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, and later a concert of Broadway tunes. That was several years ago, but the musical love has not left me since - it's only grown. Writing has always been my love, but musical theater seems to have become my passion. Which can be a bit of a problem.

Though I have no allusions of pursuing a musical career or being part of show on Broadway someday, sometimes I do find myself somewhat wistful, wondering if my time will come. I see my friends' dreams come true as they belt it out under the spotlight or twirl into an embrace of a dancing partner, and I wonder if that will ever happen to me. I know these are dangerous (not to mention sinful) thoughts, and I know I must replace them with better thoughts, but it's hard to convince myself to do so.

But recently I have come to a startling epiphany, in a rather unexpected form... my favorite detective, E. Morse from the TV series, Endeavour.

 {source: Pinterest/Google}

The Endeavour series chronicles the adventures of the brilliant young Detective Constable Morse in his early years as a detective. (It's a prequel series to the famous British show, "Inspector Morse", which I haven't really seen much of.) I can't exactly recommend the series because it has some violent scenes (they're generally murder mysteries) and some inappropriate material, especially in the first pilot episode. But what really attracted me to Morse (besides his adorable face... pardon my bluntness) is his love of opera. Though I am not really an opera fan, I am a musicals fan, and there are so few detectives who enjoy music at all that opera is good enough for me. ;)

But the point of that ^ long paragraph/explanation is this: yes, Morse loves opera. However, you do not see Morse sing opera (at least I don't think so... He sings in the choir I think); he does not perform in operas. He loves it, but he doesn't have to live it. He loves opera passionately - he knows about the composers, the lyrics, the stories, the meanings - but he's not an opera star (instead, he's a fantastic and smart detective who breaks codes and solves mysteries!). And because of that fact, I came to the realization that, even if I am never in another musical again (though I dearly hope I will be), it's going to have to be okay. I can still love musicals. I can still discover new musicals, learn new songs, and belt out Broadway tunes to my heart's content (well, except that I can't belt... but you know what I mean).

The realization is: I can love musicals; I don't have to live them.

And someday I'll come to the second realization that...

it's ok.

"Klarabelle"